Views:698 | By: Isaac The situation of life never wanted to be as I thought it was my time to be who I wanted and be where i always wanted to be. At 32 I still struggled with life, still trying to find somewhere to attach myself, get some coins to help my parents if not myself.

Life at home was a disaster, not that that was how it could have always been but it became when I was undertaking my 5 years course in University of Nairobi. I had my degree in Business management and the relevant papers but still I had to move from one office to another asking for a chance, a condition that neither me nor my parents expected when I was graduating. But as far as I was concerned I still believed that maybe, just maybe one day I would wake up to be a manager somewhere. Only to wake up one day and my father summoned for me and with whom we had a long conversation. He gave me mandate over his 5 acres of rice plantations. Was this the management that I always dreamt of? Be a farmer? Ugh! I could not believe all this was happening to me a first class honour graduate.

The following morning I took a jembe which was all I had and was becoming my portion as my parents were growing old and their body conditions were deteriorating day by day. I proceeded to the farm, and stood at one corner of it and the hot sun was very determined to punish me out of nothing. I had no strength to do what I had not done for the past 32 years, for how could I hold a jembe and start digging with no idea of how? I proceeded to a large tree nearby and rested under its generous shade, and again another phase of depression hit me. I could now see that God had neglected me, he had no place in his big heart to accommodate me despite of my condition. I started blaming him, if u dared passed by u could think a psychiatric patient was somewhere hiding himself as I was now verbalizing whatever I thought.

After about one hour I fell into a deep sleep as a result of painful tears I had shed, my father woke me up and comforted me for sometime and he broke the "good news" to me as he thought they could be better for me only to find them more disappointing more than I expected.

To be continued..