Emerging New Dating Trends
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By:
Alice
When it comes to courting, communication is vital. But thanks to the new online dating landscape, the love language has become much more complicated.
Just as you figured out what 'sexting' was, a whole host of new-fangled relationship jargon came.
Raise your hand if you've ever been ghosted at some point in your life. Well, I'd be shocked if you haven't. The question is, have you ever been stashed, benched, or mosted?
It's likely, you've never heard of these words, but sadly you are not new to the sensation. Some might sound funny, but the emotional turmoil they cause isn't funny at all.
I used to believe being ghosted was one of the worst things that could happen to anyone in the dating landscape. That's probably because I needed to figure out what being mosted, stashed, and benched meant.
Nowadays, these dating "trends" are sadly common and can happen to anyone. Here's what each means and how you can tell if they're happening to you.
1. Mosting
Mosting is somehow a higher version of ghosting. Here a person suddenly disappears without an explanation after raising your hopes and fooling you into believing you're "the one."
While ghosting typically occurs after a hookup or a few dates, most ghosting occurs after a few weeks, if not months, after the other person convinces you they genuinely care about you and want to spend a lifetime with you.
The moster builds a fake sense of intimacy and connection through flattery and phrases such as 'I've been waiting for you my whole life and 'You must be my soul mate — with the least personal emotional involvement necessary."
Signs you might be mosted:
a. They overdo it with flattery, compliments, and gifts.
b. They keep telling you you're the love of their life, even though they still know little about you.
c. They dropped the L-bomb on you after only a couple of dates.
d. They go hot and cold on you: some days, they're too intimate, sweet, and attentive, but on others, they get strangely cold and distant.
2. Stashing
Have you ever dated someone who never introduced you to their circle, i.e., their friends or family? Guess what? You were being stashed.
In this kind of relationship, your date is always eager to spend time with you, but catch them dead when it comes to introducing you to their friends and families.
Signs someone is stashing you:
a. You've been dating for a long time and haven't met anyone from their inner circle.
b. Every time you mention meeting their family/friends, they get uncomfortable and try to change the subject.
c. You don't exist anywhere in their social media profiles.
3. Benching
If you've tasted being benched, you will agree this is the ultimate form of emotional manipulation.
In benching, someone acts interested and makes you feel attended to, and then they start texting less and eventually disappear for a few days or months, then reappear and act as if nothing happened.